back to my happy life

nowadays my life is full of happiness. thx to sakana and my friends. thank god this few days dint really quarrel with her. for the past few weeks, i kept on quarrel with her. haiz.. maybe i am not a good boy friend. everything that i have did also will make her angry. maybe is because i am not caring enough. sorry.. i used to promise u that i will make u happy but i cant fulfill my promise. sorry. i will improve and try to be a better boy friend. last week, my face was badly hurt by the sun burn and luckily my gf take good care of me. hehe. the best thing was she dint even leave me because that time i was really fucking yong sui. haha.
few days ago, Gavin said he will be back and i cant wait to see him. miss that fucker.. i can never forget who is my sifu.. haha
lastly, i hope i can be a good bf. the gf that i am having now is the best gf that i ever had. she always make me happy and smile. when i am sad or down, she is the one that be with me and make me smile. haha but my brothers like kelvin and tommy also got help me geh. haha. i cant promise that i can be with you forever but all i know is i love deeply and i hope i can be the one that is sleeping beside you until old and take care of you when you are old.. love you sakana

Miss you

for the past two days i feel uncomfortable because you are not beside me. i feel like something is missing. sometimes i wish i can be with you everyday but i scare you will feel bored of me. yesterday you treat me so cold. you seldom reply my msg and i was so scare. my heart beeps very fast cause i am nervous. i am scare that you feel bored of me. luckily today you got reply me and chat me like normal. you are coming back tomorrow. cant wait for it.. miss you

Just the same

my life is back to normal. Everyday also doing the same thing. The only thing that i am trying to improve is i am tryin to be a good friend and boy friend. recently, i have hurt few of my friends and also my girl friend. sorry. i will try to improve. maybe one day i will manage to change.. give me some time..
life in kampar is kinda boring. luckily i manage to find something to do. that is watch doraemon. haha. i know it sounds lame but what to do. kampar is a dead town. luckily i have my girl friend and a group of friends that always support me.

I am sorry.

Once again I have hurt your feelings. Sorry. I am just trying to be as caring as I can but I dun know it will hurt your feelings. You have ignored me for few hours but for me it is very long already. The time pass very slow and I seems so lonely without you. I have friends beside me but I just feel like I have lost something very important. I can feel that my soul has lost and I hope you will forgive me soon. It is so hard for us to be together and I hope it won’t end just like that. Once again, I am sorry for what I have done.

My bad day

What a bad day. Today I was late for my exam and the fucking paper was so hard. Japanese was the only subject can make me stress like fuck. Damn. During the exam, I went to toilet and it ended up like shit. The floor was so slippery and I just slipped. I realize my body was wet because I felt on to the water and it hurt my backs. It was so embarrassing. Hope my back will recover soon. One thing I am happy is I realize that most of my friends in Kampar really treat me like a friend. Feel very touched when my girl friend and my roommate accompany me to see the doctor. Thanks. I will never forget for those who have helped me today.

my true feelings

This few weeks, i have made few of my friends emo.. I admit i have made a lot of empty promises. I will try to change.. Today I just received a call from my best friend and ended up I have been screwed again. This proves that I am not a really good friend. I might have a lot of friends but I have hurt most of them. Most of the time I will break my promise and one of it is cigarette. I can’t get rid of it. Erm.. Maybe I should learn how to be nice to my friends. Sorry if I have hurt anyone. Hope everyone can forgive me.

Gav, you are leaving soon. You are my really best friends. We seldom keep in touch but you will always be my brother. The times we had will always be in my memories. I will never forget how you help me and you always give me advice when I am having problem. Hope our friendship will never end when you leave Malaysia.

I am back

It has been a very long time that i dint update my blog. There are too many things happen in this two months. Luckily it ended up with a happy ending. Finally i get to be with my dream girl. Today is National day but seems like nothing speacial for me. I just spend my national day at home. One thing that is very fun is i get to cook French toast and goreng pisang. The feelings is so nice and i Cant explain it. Feel very bad on the moment because i still cant get rid of the fucking ciggarette. Haizzzzzzzzz

Ciggarette?? no more in my life

Yeah.. Today is the first day i quit smoking. Haha. Nice la. I hope i can stop smoking wei.. lol. That day i made my partner hands full of smoke smell. Felt so bad.She hates smokers wei. Luckily she dint scold me. HAHA. Just now, I finally get to talk back to her. Hopefully our friendship can be like last time.

once again i have hurt ur feelings

I dunno wat to do? someone pls teach me wat to do. I am just trying to help her and be her best friend but all i know is i have hurt her again. I can see that everytime i appear in front of her, she will feel uncomfortable. This friendship will really end here?? I hope it wun but all i know is she will leave our group soon and wun mix with us anymore. Is it really because of me or there are other reason? Should i just stop messaging her and just ignore her or continue treat her like a friend? What should i do??? I am so confused and i cant make any decision anymore. I dun wan to hurt her feelings anymore. All i hope is she will be as happy as last time.

Just the same as yesterday

I am back. Haiz.. Today, i am so tired. Now is 4am in the morning and i haven sleep. Lol. Parents not here so no curfew. Haha. lets start with my dancing practice.Today, my dream come true. Haha. I get to dance with my CHT 2 dream girl ( Queenie). HAHA.She is so pretty. I have been lookin at her for one year and finally I get to hold her hands. Lol it is so fun and nice. I also get to dance with my partner again. Lol her name is Fish. Haha. She is so cute and the best thing is she is shorter than me. Lol. If she wear high heels during the penang trip, she will be as tall as me. Haiz, why am i so short???? I really enjoy dancing with her but I feel down when i see 15. She look so down but i dun dare to talk to her. I can see that no one is dancing with her but i dint go find her because I need to forget her and treat her like my best friend or maybe sister. I realise after i told her my feelings, our friendship has face alot of problem. Everyday, either one of us will feel down or emo. I cant understand her feelings and she also cant understand mine. This make me feel that we are from the different world. I need to forget all my feelings and treat her like a friend. I hope she can live happily like last time. Just finish reading her blog. Feel so down when she wrote about her mum called her. I really hope i can teman her but i cant. I need to stop thinking of her. I hope our friendship can be like last time. I realise nowadays, I seldom talk to her already. Maybe is because of what i did last time. Hope everything also will be ok and she can live happily like last time.

Miss or dun miss??

haiz.. Suddenly miss my ex gf.. No matter what she have did to me last time, it is still a 1 year plus relationship. Whenever i listen to a love song, i will think of her. I know i should stop thinkin of her but i cant. everything that happen last time will be my memories.. no matter what, you will always be inside my heart. Haiz, Dave is leaving kampar soon. Damn, no ppl teman me smoke anymore. Stress...going to yum cha soon.

What should i do??????

Haiz , I just read her blog. She said she dun need me to pity her... Haiz. I helped her is because i want to be with her not because of PITY. She really thing that i have already gave up. Actually i am not. I hope one day, she will feel touch and she can consider about me again but i know this will never happen. When she is crying, i want to borrow her my shoulder but i dun dare to ask. I know i have hurt her feelings. Everything also cant change already. It is damn sad when u see the girl u love crying but u cant do anthing, i cant even borrow her my shoulder. All i can do is to stand behind her and keep askin weather is she ok or not. I feel down. No one will understand how i feel. To be honest, I also dun really understand . When she going to accept me, why i go step back?????? Am i stupid???? Gavin.... if u are here, I know u can teach me what to do... but i know u wun be here now.

Overnight??

Trust me.. I din sleep for the whole night. lol. I went to yum cha until 2 am than i went home. Just after i finish my shower, my best friend's gf nearly fainted so we went to the hospital. (WHAT A SCARY PLACE. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT IN THE HOSPITAL IS DAMN SCARY. THE WIND IS DAMN FUCKING STRONG. CAN FEEL THAT SOMETHING IS BESIDE ME.) LOL. After sending my best friend back. I went to accompany my dream girl. She say she feel down so i accompany her walk around in dataran. Erm... walked for 10 rounds in Dataran. The best thing was she dint talked at all. I feel so worry about her but she dint say anything. I asked her but she choosed to keep quiet. Around 4.30am, i sent her home and i was waiting for her call until now. I scared she cant sleep or she want someone to talk to so i just wait for her downstairs. I just trying to be 24 hours on call. I hope all the things i am doing now can help her and make her forgive me. I love her. Haiz. All because a wrong move, everything also cant change.Now i am in a station waiting the time to reach 9am.The only thing i dun 1 to see is her message.If she message me means she cant sleep. Haiz. Heart pain lo. haha. 9am is my class and now i am still in cc. lol. I think i will be sleeping in class l8r. Anyway i need to say thanks to my brother, Tommy cuz he is beside me now and accompany me for few hours and dint sleep at all. thx Tommy.

Feel so down

Haiz.. dunno how to start..everyday also feel stress.. this is my life for the past few days. 6 days ago i broke up with my girlfriend because of some reason and now i feel like i have already fall in love with another girl. Few days ago, i already told her i love her than she was considering weather want to accept me anot but the worst thing i did in my life was i made a wrong move. Yesterday i told her i wanted to step back from this relationship and be back like normal friend. The best thing is i still love her but i dun dare to confess anymore because she keep sayin that i am not loyal enough and playing with her feelings. I am not playing with her feelings. I just scare me and her will argue if we really ended up together. I am a smoker, useless guy that only know how to talk and she is so quiet and keep everything in her heart if anything happen. We are like from different world. I am just not suitable for her. All i can do is to be beside her and help her whenever she needs me. The main reason why i step back was because i was too childish. She keep saying that i am a flower heart guy so i got pissed off and i said i wanted to step back. If i can be more patient and care about her feelings, nothing will happen between me and her. Wat a stupid move. To be honest, I am not flower heart lu, i am just good in sweet talk. I just enjoy sweet talk with girls but if u wan me to change, i dun mind to change. haiz. It is too late to regret. The only thing i can do now is to be 24 on call and help her whenever she needs me. I hope i will be the guy she will find, if she need help. Hope she can forgive me.